YOU CAN WIN too!!

Its time to write off all that I learnt during the past two weeks maybe three...
After keeping a vigil eye over all the nonsense that I have been through acting insanely sincere all the time; I have compiled a list of some major do's and don'ts which would project you as a impressive communicator as far as business matters are considered.
Of course its your communication skill that matters at the EOD(End of the Day). 'My Precious' as our hobbit friend from LOTR would say!
So here you go...

1) From this point in time(it was never 'point of time') precede any and all conversations with the word 'business'. People will start taking you seriously only if you start calling question, objective, model and even communication as Business Question, Business Objective, Business Model and Business Communication. Didn't it sound coming straight from a CEO?
2) Start calling for meetings at least 4 times a day(You don't really need an agenda cuz it is when staffing, project updates and conference calls come in handy!)
3) Keep asking people for their inputs on any damn topic and make sure they feel that they are the most useful resource that has ever occurred to a firm and it was because of them that the project was still running.
4) Start using words and phrases which have no relevance to the 'business problem' whatsoever or to any useful output for that matter. Enrich your glossary with 'weasel words' and phrases/words like greener pastures, paraphernalia, leveraging, proactive way, touching base, paradigm shift, tail wagging, stretching the envelope, in synergy, ramp up, going hammer and tongs, being at the sea etc..(now that you know I have a keen ears for B.S. as well). Not to forget mentioning evergreen phrases like taking it forward, identifying the best resources, climbing up the ladder, bandwidth to spare, out of the box solution, etc..
5) Make it a rule to never use the word 'never' and start using 'sure' and 'correct' from now on. Don't you wanna show off that nothing under the sun in this man made world was ever out of your capabilities.
6) Most importantly start working on projects as soon as you are assigned to it as the most important resource. It really doesn't matter if you don't know/have not received the objective or the background of the project. It is this quality of pioneer ship which outsmarts you from your colleagues.
7) You are not going to take your night meal if you have not fulfilled the days quota of sayting 'thanks'. Its your moral responsibility to acknowledge for the pains that your colleagues took for you. Even bashing for poor work doesn't go without a 'thanks' in the end.
8) Start 'following up' on things. The more the number of follow ups the better managing skills you have! (And I thought not understanding in the first go were the signs of incompetency :P) Always follow up on all conference calls with the 'minutes' and a long email to show that you were indeed awake and listening.
9) Time is never a constraint. Stoopid are those people who complete a work within the time frame it should be done in! You are responsible only if you work late in the night preparing decks(ppts) and rechecking them and then discussing them the next day which was only a matter of half an hour.
10) Last but definitely not the least keep updating yourself listening to what your HR has to say...because if there were any bigger BS Generator second only to Sri Sri 1008 Gobar (Varun Gupta), it has to be the HR(and NO I am not talking of Himesh Prabhu). Come on there is something jazzy in the initials isn't it?
Having said all I am still loving it.
So roll up your sleeves like a go getter and shoot 'em all up with your supremely enhanced BC(Business Communication you perverts!) that you've learned today

Only Duty.. No Beauty !!

Recently watched Johnny Gaddaar... loved it. When a director dedicates his film to James Hadley Chase, you know the battle is half won. For if there ever was a baap of thriller genre, it was Mr. Chase. And to add more I was completely in love with the movie with its classic stereotyped bollywood casting and was completely shocked to see Dave Matthews Band song titled Ants Marching but it later turned out to be the name of a marketing agency :( .

From the makers of "Ek Hasina Thi", the movie has a touch of "Tarantino" except for the spattered and flowing blood, and the storytelling inspired from "Pulp Fiction". This movie with a SinCity poster is a well packed thriller with crisp storyline, sharp dialogues and an up to the mark performances from the actors especially the Protagonist, Neil Mukesh(son of Nitin Mukesh) who showed no signs of a debutant. Still for me, Vinay Pathak was the show stealer. In general, the versatility of this actor is just incredible!

The thing that I loved about the movie was the fast paced intriguing storyline which kept one guessing at the edge of the seat and guesses being proven wrong more than once. It was slow only once with the train scene but that i guess, as one of my friend pointed out too, an essential part if one is tries to build the real life sequences.
The dialogues were neatly written with the script writer throwing some sleek punch lines from time to time like the one in the blog title.

It is really good to see the new face of bollywood with movies like Bheja Fry, Manorama, Johnny Gaddaar and Loins of Punjab.
A real thumbs up for this movie!!

Renegade Princess

I see you looking perplexed towards the skies,
As I try to be a part of your colossal strength;
And you say you don't need an alibi,
To defend yourself as you stand without deter.

Neither have you cried out for ma or pa,
Nor have you relied blindly on any gospel;
'Cause you know your prerogative's radii,
And all that you said was anything but lie.

People detest you and call you a maniac,
This garish world hardly cares for truth;
But you know you are right sheila!
No matter how much the way looks abrupt.

You have a feeling deep within you,
That you'll heal off the pain, Eir!
And once again the world'll gain it's rev,
So it's not the time to say goodbye;

And as you deeply introspect, the more you find,
"Tongue tied and twisted just an earthbound misfit, I".

Copyright © 2007
(All except the last line)

Mis bah 5 runs !!

Knock Knock....
Who's there?
Misbah.
Misbah who?
Mis bah five runs.
;)

For those who dint get it.... stop talking of cricket from now on :P

Whats in the NAME ?

Time for some quick, non taxing additions to my blog. Came through this website which tells about your personality as per your first name (Time to blame your parents!).
My parents seems have done a good job cuz I have two names Rohit and Shobhit and both yielded good results :)

Shobhit creates the urge to be reliable and responsible, we emphasize that it causes an emotional intensity that is hard to control.
It creates a most expressive nature, idealistic and inspirational, driven with a strong inner urge to be of service in some way that would uplift humanity as a whole.
However, there is a tendency to assume too heavy a burden of responsibility for others, which leads to worry and undue concern.
People with problems are drawn to you as they recognize you as one who has understanding and gives not only sympathy and comfort but provides also some constructive advice or assistance.
You have a generous quality to your nature, but you must guard carefully against giving more than you receive or you will find yourself doing without because you have helped someone else.

Check out what your name has in store for you here.

I ain't happy,
I'm feeling glad
I got sunshine in a bag
I'm useless but
Not for long
The future is coming on!

Eternal Blues of a Clock-Watching Mind !!

I am getting more and more relentless and annoyed of the office culture now .

Reason : Why the heck do people fail to see the obvious and do stuffs just for the sake of doing it without foreseeing that it makes no impact to the final result.

Sorry for digging again that cliched office stuff but really cant help it. One more thing if you have taken me for a worker who tries to skip the work then take a look at this def. of clock-watching.

Now that I am done with the boasting let me tell you of some funny incidences of my workplace.

1) It was our second week in the office and it was 3 days since we had moved to our apartment . The area was facing a shortage in water supply owing to a municipality strike and the bore well had gone bad as well. We brought a couple of buckets of water from downstairs daily (thats all we got in those 4-5 days for 4 of us, we could have got more had laziness not prevailed) and come to office after brushing our precious enamels. And in the process two of us got late to the office one day for the first time and as Mr. Merphy would have predicted, our CEO caught us coming late. The conversation went something like this :

CEO : Why are you guys late?
Before I could say a word, My partner in crime 'X' : Sir we have a water problem at our apartment. (Me:WTH is he saying?)
CEO: So what?
X : Sir Shobhit had to take a bath. (Me: Swearing profusely in my mind but helpless)
CEO : What do you mean that Shobhit had to take a bath?
X : Sir actually we have this water problem for 3 days now and Shobhit had not taken a bath for these three days so he had to and thus we got late.

And this was the last statement before the conference room burst into laughters and left me searching for corners where I could run and hide to escape the embarrassment. But the damage was done and I felt like a clown entertaining a gathering of children.
CEO (chuckling) : I never knew that bangalore was turning into something like chennai. (stop laughing you assholes if you are in gurgaon cuz ur city is next in line..)

2) It was our company fun outing and we were playing a game of Captain Ball. There was this match going between two of the teams and everyone was hooting. Suddenly our CEO who was part of one of the teams came into the game after a substitution. As soon as he started playing, I started hooting,

"Two balls in the play" (He is a fatty for the unknowns)

and it was two late for me to realize that CEO's wife who was in our team was sitting next to me.
I cursed my ill fate thinking why is it me all the time!!

Smoking Kills : But who wants to live till 90 anyways!

Catchy punchline ~Source : South Park

Was watching this episode on anti smoking few days back in which some shabbily dressed guys were performing in the South Park elementary to teach hazards of smoking to the kids .
Result : Exasperated by the crew's performance, Cartman and company runs out and starts to smoke(to insure that they don't grow up to become one of them).

Jokes apart just try searching out for 'smoking+life+minutes' on google and you would see most of the studies stating that 'a ciggy cuts 11 minutes of your life' blah blah... I completely fail to understand how can they come up with such results and generalize them if they don't conduct the study on identical twins and see the effects. The only thing that researchers are sure of is that smoking is carcinogenic, so if you are a smoker either you end up catching those contracting disease and die or nothing bad happens. So Its like that binary thing and there is nothing like a continuous age reduction due to smoking.
I tried looking a little deeper into those studies and almost all of them ended up saying,
"The researchers admit that their calculations are crude as it relies on law of averages"
How modest ha!! Its just like saying ' We suck but you gotta buy the argument neways cuz we dont know any other way to calculate it '.

On a lighter note have a look at the picture attached. This is actually an on-the-ceiling poster in the Smoking Room at an IT firm in Hyderabad. Got this picture as a email forward and loved it. Really innovation is captivating!
Enjoy!!