How I learned to stop feeling excited and love my job

Why a blog? its not that i like blogging or its the thing to do for that matter... its just that i have got loads of free time at the office now and i wish i could do anything better than this...

The inception of my job was as I expected it to be from the corporate world. It all started with a jam packed two week long training which later got extended to 3 weeks.
Our mentors threw at us an unending list of assignments, projects and presentations. I felt really like been thrown back in time and was reminded of my orientation program at IITK, the only difference being that this was even worse 'cause you had to take care of a lot of other things which included finding a house as well and believe me its not that easy as they make it look in the ads of magicbricks.
I swear that I slept only for 5-6 hours throughout those 3 weeks continuously without a break(even on weekends). Yeah thats the difference when you're in a corporate world where deadlines are meant to be met and not like good old days of IITK where you get away with it by getting a lower grade.
After submitting all those assignment(SAS,VBA,EXCEL,SQL,OLS etc. etc..) came "The Project". They made us do one of their earlier projects by toning it down a little and expected us to finish it within a week which took them at least a month.
I thanked my IIT experience which made us take it all up and finish somehow(included one near nightout) . The funniest thing in the project being "The Guide" and "The Client". We were supposed to contact the "dummy" client only via a conference call, though its a different thing that she used to sit next to my cubical. We poor souls pulled it off too.
Then came the presentation part which saw our tiny little asses being kicked left right and center throughout that 1.5 hr presentation. But we were not going to let it go that easily(again thanks to the BTP). And the day cometh too which saw the entire "Induction Program" finish. Boy!! weren't we the most relieved souls on earth having successfully completed the program which included reaching office at 9 in the morning and coming back by 11 PM and those formals...
The next day we reached the office rejuvenated and drowsy at the same time, there was a mail from the HR asking us to put up a culshow at 4 PM (the first thing that we thought of was WTH??). What do they expect of us....we all gathered to plan it out but it didn't took us long to figure out that it was just not possible given the short time span that we had. We all got back to the HR and told about it only to receive a big motivational speech and he even used phrases like "even the word Impossibles says....." crap!! It was 12 now and we had lost another 2 hours in the process. Luckily a bong among us freshers had an electric guitar and he went to his home and brought it. Man he could really play guitar, you just had to give him the chords of a song of your choice and thats it. So together we somehow managed to put up a show 5-6 songs and some mimicry in those two hours and yep it pretty well covered our vocal handicap. And yes it was my maiden performance as a vocalist yay!! :P

A week passed and the HR came up with another corporate activity "The Team Outing". The entire staff was split into 4 teams and there was going to have a games competition and that was not the end of it, we were to come up with a team name and do the marketing and branding of our team.To start, it was our team name for which people came up with clichéd names. My idea for a team name "Headless Chickens" was dropped instantly :( because people were too serious with all this team and branding stuff. The name they came up with was "Chak De" . But seriously all teams were closely competing when it came to crappy team names. The other names being "MS ki Aag", Megabucks"Where the bucks stop", and Fast and Fouriers"(still figuring why they chose this!!)
My manager kept troubling me for making posters and coming up with ideas. By that time people had also started putting up some A4 printouts bearing their team name and a quote.
These are the posters that I made and before you see them i would like to mention some of the corporate B.S. that I learned viz. "P.U.F.P" (pick up the fucking phone) and "The Indian Toddle"(Indian way of nodding by moving head sideways like an inverted bell for a 'yes').






All of these posters were big colored maize printouts and looked sexy! The first poster was put up at the toilets, second one at the main entrance access door and the third one at work place. No points for identifying the queen number in the third poster!! After we put up these posters people went hammer and tongs after them and started anti campaigning. The fast and fouriers team started spamming our mailboxes by sending some calvin and hobbes after changing the last part and writing their team name in it.
When it all got unbearable I made some comic strips and mailed them to all.



Note: The people whom I targeted were all either Directors or Managers so it wont be a surprise for me if I don't get an appraisal in the next cycle :P